


Five Years Ago

by orphan_account



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, School Reunion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 19:10:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4799063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard never saw the point of high school reunions; high school was the worst time of his life and he didn't feel the need to be reminded as he was forced to congregate with the people who used to push him into lockers on a daily basis</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Years Ago

**Author's Note:**

> I have no knowledge of high school reunions or what happens during them so this is probably inaccurate

Gerard never saw the point of high school reunions; high school was the worst time of his life and he didn't feel the need to be reminded as he was forced to congregate with the people who used to push him into lockers on a daily basis. He hated the fact that they would pretend to get along with you like they had completely forgotten how they had treated you as a teenager, as if being away from you for 5 years suddenly meant that every malicious comment and disgusting slur they uttered in your ear was forgiven.

Gerard would have thrown the invitation in the bin the moment he received it if it weren't for Mikey. As much as he loved his little brother, he cursed him as he snatched the card out of his hands, reading it before saying "You have to go." Gerard sent a venomous glare his way; all Mikey did was smirk. It was no secret that Gerard completely detested social interaction of any kind, he was 23 years old and he still lived with his parents and little brother for gods sake.

"No" Gerard spat defiantly. "I swore the moment that I graduated that I would never go back to that hell hole." Belleville High held nothing but misery and painful memories of incessant name calling and people he never ever wanted to think about again.

"Oh come on, it will be fun, plus don't you want to see what really happened to your classmates." Mikey smirked.

"No" Gerard replied and that was that.

-

As it seemed, Gerard was wrong, because sure enough on the night scheduled for the evening, Mikey was pulling up his car (Gerard would never openly admit that the reason he didn't drive himself was because his licence had been revoked after several drunk driving incidents which could have gone quite drastically wrong) with his pathetic excuse of a big brother in the passenger seat into the car park of the building Gerard swore he would never go back to there the moment he left it.

He refused to get out the car at first, arguing to his brother that it was completely pointless and he was going to hate it the whole time, but his younger brother insisted until it got to the point where he was threatening to take all Gerard's comic books away from him. That got him out of the car before Mikey even finished his sentence.

He wasn't exactly dressed in his smartest attire but he sure as hell wasn't going to wear a shirt so paint stained skinny jeans and a Smashing Pumpkins t-shirt that hadn't been washed in at least 2 weeks along with his leather jacket was going to have to do. Personally, Gerard didn't know think it was that bad but Mikey said otherwise. Gerard chose to ignore the advice which was a decision he would probably regret seeming as his brother was usually always right (ignoring the time that he thought it was a good idea to stick a fork down a toaster).

Before Gerard could change his mind about being there, Mikey pulled out of the car park on the agreement that Gerard would call when he wanted to get picked up, leaving him stuck there with no other choice than to face his high school enemies. It was with with a reluctant sigh that he convinced himself that it wouldn't be that bad.

-

It really was as bad as he thought it would be. The tacky event was even worse than it is made out to be in the movies as he took in the hauntingly familiar faces of his old classmates. Some people he barely recognised because they had changed so much yet there were others who had barely changed at all and then there were the ones who looked like they were drug addicts (and probably were knowing the area they lived in) with their pale, sickly faces, and empty sunken in eyes as they lingered in the corner alone.

Gerard, with amused surprised, even recognised the face of his old school bully. A boy who at 17 was your stereotypical high school jock; attractive and popular and the captain of the school football team who enjoyed terrorising the overweight kid, but now 5 years on he looked as if he ate a McDonalds every day. Gerard couldn't help but smirk as he realised how the tables had so drastically turned.

His eyes darted away from the people and to the drinks table where he immediately noted alcohol which was highly questionable considering that they were in a high school. For a moment he actually considered it, taking a bottle of the toxic substance to ease his raging anxiety, yet he knew that if he did he wouldn't be able to stop and the last thing he wanted to do was relapse and make a complete fool of himself in front of all his old classmates.

A person tapped him on the shoulder and he turned round to be immediately met with a man with a big afro and an even bigger smile as he took in his old best friend which he hadn't seen in years. Gerard almost felt guilty for loosing contact with Ray, they were good friends after all, but he decided to forget about it as he grinned back, exchanging small talk and catching up on each other's lives.

Ray offered to take Gerard to see a couple of his other old acquaintances but he politely declined, making up some bullshit excuse to make it seem like he wasn't just a completely antisocial recluse who still lived in his mom's basement.

Once he was alone, Gerard finally looked up at the busy room again. He had to do a double take when he saw him. He never expected him to be there of all people but he supposed you could say the same about himself. He almost looked exactly the same as he did 5 years ago with that annoyingly attractive playful smirk and the cold metal lip ring that he had felt on his lips so many times before. There were new features as well of course such as the short bleached sides of his hair and the many colourful tattoos that now adorned his arms, but the boy he once held in his arms as a naïve 18 year old was still there.

All the memories suddenly came back to him like a slap in the face; hidden kisses behind the the very sports hall they stood in to messy hand jobs in the back of his car; it was a whirlwind romance that was destined to go wrong from the moment it began - Gerard wanted to settle down and go to art college and Frank wanted to travel the world with his band; it wasn't going to work out but neither of them cared as they slowly fell into the trap of love until it climaxed to a very messy crescendo as their relationship ended with a fight to end all other fights. Gerard could almost feel the raw throat he had for days after the screaming match.

Gerard realised he was staring far too late; he tried to turn around and occupy himself with the absolutely fascinating drinks table but he already knew that Frank had seen him - the wide, shocked eyes and pensive, stunned expression said it all. Was he remembering what Gerard was remembering? Was he thinking of the good times or their messy end? Was he happy to see him or angry? Thousands of questions bounced around his mind as he recollected the duration of their high school love affair.

At that moment in time he found himself craving a cigarette oh so desperately, an awful addiction that Frank got him to start he recalled. So many of his behaviours and habits were created because of Frank and Gerard absolutely hated it. He hated that Frank had completely unintentionally changed the whole way he acted around people now, he influenced him without realising and now briefly looking back upon his life, he realised how many of his decisions were made subconsciously because of Frank or something he had done. It was only tiny little things like the way he noticed people with hazel eyes more so than anyone else or how attractive tattooed and pierced people suddenly were, something he strongly disliked before he met Frank, but they all made an impact, no matter how small, on Gerard's life.

He found himself all of a sudden analysing every little action he had done over the past 5 years, the drink and the drugs that he was thankfully now sober from, until he soon realised that it was pointless to dwell on a relationship which he thought he had gotten over a long time ago. Obviously not. 

He finally did manage to get that cigarette, pulling away from the crowd of his old classmates who were getting far too drunk for his liking, to go outside into the fresh night air. It was a surprisingly clear night, he could even make out a couple of stars scattered across the dark sky as he fumbled with his lighter and finally managed to get the addictive drug into his system, almost immediately calming him down from his previous panic.

It was then, as he closed his eyes and just breathed, that Gerard had a moment of almost instantaneous clarity, where everything seemed to make sense. The explanation was staring him in the face: he never really did get over his breakup with Frank. He never really got any closure on the matter other than the knowledge that they supposedly hated each other's gut's. Gerard thought he had forgotten about Frank but obviously his sub-conscience hadn't because while their relationship was destined to crash and burn from the start, it didn't stop either of them from falling in love with each other along the way and while they thought they hated each other, the moment their eyes met, that passion and intensity arose again stronger than ever.

Over the span of 5 years, the numerous failed dates and disappointing hookups that amounted to nothing that Gerard had experienced were all because he couldn't get over his high school boyfriend. It was kind of pathetic it you put into in that perspective but it was true; Gerard fell in love very rarely but when he did he fell hard because there was never anyone there to catch him.

Another person joined him as he carelessly smoked his cigarette; he didn't even have to open his eyes to know who it was. He could probably recognise him from his breathing pattern if he really tried hard enough, it was just another one of those little things Gerard observed about him. He focused on the flick of the lighter, the quiet hiss of the flame, the first inhalation and the sigh of relief; it was all so familiar to Gerard that if he really focused, he could imagine the scene of the two of them 5 years ago, smoking in this very spot, giggling rebelliously because they knew it was banned. He almost didn't want to open his eyes because that would mean facing the real reality.

For a moment he tried to convince himself that the unknown 'stranger' stood next to him just simply wanted a cigarette too. If he kept his eyes closed he could pretend that he wasn't even there or maybe he was a figment of his own, twisted imagination, but his blissful denial was shattered as the low, scratchy voice spoke to him for the first time in years.

"I'm surprised you're here, you were never very good at social situations." It wasn't a jeer at him, more so simply stating a fact that they both knew was true. Gerard hated parties, especially ones such as these. In high school the two would usually just skip them and make out in Gerard's basement room instead.

"Mikey" Gerard provided as his only explanation. It was enough though.

Frank let out a quiet giggle and Gerard couldn't help but feel a smile start to creep it's way onto his face as they simply spoke as if they were just old friends, laughing over his younger brother's antics. "Figures. He would never let you miss something like this."

"Yeah, he has always been there for me" Gerard murmured reminiscently, only realising after he had said it that it was entirety the wrong thing to say to his ex boyfriend. From the lightly pained expression on his face, he could tell that the shorter of the two was thinking the exact same thing.

There was a silence after that, not exactly awkward but far from what could be considered comfortable. The only sound that could be heard was the faint music that played in the background and the ragged breathing of the two men that stood outside, taking deep drags of their cigarettes to avoid the topic they both so desperately needed to talk about.

"So..." Gerard began before realising that he had no idea where he was going with the sentence.

"So..." Frank echoed, looking down at the ground, lightly kicking the dirt with his beaten up sneakers. 

He considered just dropping the subject and going back inside, maybe calling Mikey to pick him up, but if he did he knew that it would eat away at him forever, knowing that he had the chance to make things right but didn't because he was too much of a pathetic coward to have a civilised conversation with an old high school 'friend'.

The two stayed silent though; both of them had finished their cigarettes, leaving them with no distraction or excuse to not talk now. "How is your band doing these days?" Gerard asked awkwardly, using any excuse to fill the silence that grew ever more tense as the minutes dragged on, though he was actually slightly curious.

Frank laughed dryly and for a minute Gerard thought that he was laughing at him, at his complete and utter stupidity, but his paranoid worries were dismissed as he explained. "Pencey? They broke up a long time ago." Frank's first band weren't exactly the best, even Gerard had to admit that, but what they lacked in talent was made up for by their sheer passion. Gerard couldn't help but feel slightly sorry for Frank that they fell through, he was so sure that they were going places at the time. He must have been devastated.

"Not long after we did I would say" he added as a quiet afterthought, probably not intended for Gerard to hear. Gerard couldn't help but flinch at the statement, it was the first time that their break up was mentioned and it hurt more than he thought it would. Frank probably also realised that too and hastily changed the subject after it suddenly became very awkward. "Anyway, how are you doing, Gee? Still fascinated with comics?"

He didn't like the fact that Frank used his old nickname. Despite the fact that it had probably only slipped out by accident, only people close to him were allowed to use that nickname and while Frank may have been one of those people many years ago, that time had long since passed. He buried his annoyance though, knowing it would only appear rude if he pointed it out, and wet his lips, stalling for a few seconds as he tried to come up with an answer.

"I am actually working on a comic at the moment called The Umbrella Academy. I have a friend who I met in college who knows a guy who works in the business who might be able to get it published for me. From what I have shown to people they seem to think it is pretty good which is cool, I guess." Frank looked awestruck, Gerard wasn't entirely sure why.

"You actually write comics? Dude, that is fucking awesome!"

Gerard nodded and spoke more enthusiastically about all his characters and the ideas he had for it and Frank talked about his current band, Leathermouth, and how they were going on their first ever European tour in a couple of weeks and all of a sudden everything just clicked. Gerard didn't have to overthink every single thing Frank did because the conversation just seemed to flow naturally. It felt like they were 18 again, just the two of them against the world, it just felt right. Gerard didn't even realise that this was what he was missing the entire time until it was staring him in the face.

"We should totally get coffee some time, I think it is going to take more than a smoke break to properly catch up" Gerard blurted out, interrupting Frank as he was telling a story from his first ever tour. The sudden exclamation startled Frank, stopping his tangent just as it got to the best bit, but as the words sunk in, the story suddenly became irrelevant.

"I think you are right" Frank agreed.

"I missed you" Gerard murmured, staring down at the dirt.

"Fuck, I missed you too" Frank replied and without any more words being uttered, the two were hugging, Gerard melting into the familiarity of Frank's touch and for once in his life, every made sense.


End file.
